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$250 Cookie Recipe
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Okay, everyone... a true story of justice in the good old U.S. of A.
Thought y'all might enjoy this; if nothing else, it shows internet
justice, if it can be called that.
My daughter & I had just finished a salad at Neiman-Marcus Cafe in
Dallas & decided to have a small dessert. Because our family are such
cookie lovers, we decided to try the "Neiman-Marcus Cookie". It was so
excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe and they said with a
small frown, "I'm afraid not." Well, I said, would you let me buy the
recipe? With a cute smile, she said, "Yes." I asked how much, and she
responded, "Two fifty." I said with approval, just add it to my tab.
Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement from Neiman-Marcus and it
was $285.00. I looked again and I remembered I had only spent $9.95 for
two salads and about $20.00 for a scarf. As I glanced at the bottom of the
statement, it said, "Cookie Recipe - $250.00." Boy, was I upset!! I
called Neiman's Accounting Dept. and told them the waitress said it was
"two fifty," and I did not realize she meant $250.00 for a cookie recipe.
I asked them to take back the recipe and reduce my bill, and they said
they were sorry, but because all the recipes were this expensive so not
just everyone could duplicate any of our bakery recipes....the bill would
I waited, thinking of how I could get even or even try and get any of
my money back.
I just said, "Okay, you folks got my $250.00 and now I'm going to have
250.00 worth of fun." I told her that I was going to see to it that every
cookie lover will have a $250.00 cookie recipe from Neiman-Marcus for
nothing. She replied, "I wish you wouldn't do this." I said, "I'm sorry
but this is the only way I feel I could get even," and I will.
So, here it is, and please pass it to someone else or run a few
copies....I paid for it; now you can have it for free.
(Recipe may be halved.):
2 cups butter 4 cups flower
2 tsp. soda 2 cups sugar
5 cups blended oatmeal** 24 oz. chocolate chips
2 cups brown sugar 1 tsp. salt
1 8 oz. Hershey Bar (grated) 4 eggs
2 tsp. baking powder 3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)
2 tsp. vanilla
** measure oatmeal and blend in a blender to a fine powder.
Cream the butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla;
mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and
soda. Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar and nuts. Roll into
balls and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet. Bake
for 10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes 112 cookies.
Have fun!!! This is not a joke --- this is a true story.
Brian received a phone call:
"HI, I'm phoning on behalf of the ????? Children's Workshop
where we can help you with special offers, ....etc"
I interrupted her and informed her that I didn't have any
"Do you have any grandchildren???", she then asked.
Sam told me about the accident he was trying to find out
Me: So I heard about some car accident this morning.
Friend: Yeah, it was Sam, he got hit by a car on the way to
Me: Oh my God, is he alright?
Friend: I don't think so, they took him to the hospital.
Me: ICU? (intensive care unit)
Friend (quite serious): I see you too, but this is no time to play
OMNI Magazine Contest
These are responses to a contest sponsored by OMNI magazine:
Grand Prize Winner:
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When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate
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After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under
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Grocery Store. The owner Tim doesn't know what Junior's
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sometimes they offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a
He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger.
One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, Tim got him off to one
side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They
think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel.
Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"
Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"
Allen was in a store that was playing Steve Miller's "Jet Liner".
He said there was some kid next to him that had the lyrics
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In an upcoming Playboy interview, Geraldo Rivera calls Barbara
Walters "a very sexy babe" who is "profoundly sensual, very
female being with a great body." He also says, "I'm no homo,
but I'm not ashamed to say that I'd do Hugh Downs in a
The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear
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When I was in college, a colleague at WTBS (no, not the Turner
superstation, but the 14-watt campus radio station from which Turner later
bought the call letters) _swore_ that he heard an announcer say
"This is the Canadian Broadcorping Castration..."
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"Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Times in 10 Years"
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"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"
"Deer Kill 17,000"
"Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"
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"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
"Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge"
Salt Lake City is No. 1 in the world in Jell-O consumption.
Says Jay Leno, "But LA is still No. 1 if you include
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Noted Dough Boy Dies
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday
of a severe yeast infection He was 71. He was buried Friday
in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of
celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the
California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the
Hostess Twinkies The graveside was piled high with flours,
as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy,
describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded".
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was
filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie,
and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still,
even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions.
Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children,
and... one in the oven.
The stories continue below
The Stanford Law Review runs the following quote on their masthead:
"For every thousand people hacking at the leaves of evil there is
one chopping at the roots."
On their April Fools issue they ran the following:
"For every person hacking at the leaves of evil there
are a thousand smoking the stuff.
Near the Delaware Memorial Bridge tollbooth:
One of our Favorite Headlines
"Prostitutes Appeal to Pope"
In the 80's, a [local] radio station had a couple of DJs
who claimed the stealth fighter had landed at the Mt. Joy
airport in Mt. Joy, Iowa. This is used mainly by the weekend
warriors, and once a year it's used for an air show. The
authorities were notified after an estimated 10,000 people
came to the airport. They asked the people why they were out
there, and they were given the story about the stealth fighter.
The authorities then called the FBI, who talked to the FAA, who
called the FBI back. The two DJs got yanked off the air and
suspended for two weeks -- but not before some people at the
airport, armed with cell phones, called into the station, got
put on the air, and said that they couldn't see the thing. The
DJs replied that it was proof the technology worked.
To top it all off: the DJs said the only way that you could see
the plane was to move your head back and fourth -- like a chicken
when it walks -- and try to catch a glimpse out of the corner of
your eye. They stated that if you looked right at it, you would
never see it. This was believed and a majority of the people were
doing just this when the police arrived!
Some Boeing employees recently "liberated" a life raft
from one of the 747s on the company's production line.
Later, they took it for a float on the Stilliguamish
river. Imagine their surprise when a Coast Guard helicopter
"rescued" them after homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. Not
surprisingly, they no longer work at Boeing.
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