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Main Archives Stories Category: Foreign

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1
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Slovenia's state-run news agency reported on the death of 
'passionate' fisherman Franc Filipic, 47, who drowned after 
hooking a huge lake sheatfish (like a catfish) and refusing to let 
go as he waded in and was pulled under. Friends reported his 
last words were 'NOW I've got him!'  Divers found his body after 
a two-day search.

2
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MOSCOW, RUSSIA - A drunk security man asked a colleague at
the Moscow bank they were guarding to stab his bullet-proof
vest to see if it protected him against the knife.....

It didn't and the 25-year-old guard died of a heart wound. 

3
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Seen on ABC News on April 1:

"Egypt's emerging papyrus technology continues to alarm
parents and law enforcement. A new bill introduced today
would let the government regulate material found on papyrus.
Legislators said paperspace, as it is known to so-called
'writers', is becoming a haven for monotheists, con artists
and worse hoping to prey on the young and gullible. A little
bit later in this broadcast we will have some tips on how
to shield your children from offensive and dangerous material
found on the dangerous papyrus." 

4
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From the Honolulu Advertiser more than 20 years ago as printed
in Ann Landers, Sunday, April 7, 1996, (slightly rephrased):

Senators William B. Spong of Virginia and Hiram Fong of Hawaii
sponsored a bill recommending the mass ringing of church bells
to welcome the arrival in Hong Kong of the U.S. Table Tennis
Team after its tour of Communist China.

The bill failed to pass, cheating the Senate out of passing
the Spong-Fong Hong Kong Ping Pong Ding Dong Bell Bill.


5
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On the door of a Moscow hotel room: 

     If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it. 

6
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Sign in a Japanese hotel room: 

    Please to bathe inside the tub. 

7
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Sign in a Bucharest hotel lobby: 

    The lift is being fixed for the next day.
    During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. 

8
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Sign in a Leipzig elevator: 

    Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up. 

9
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Sign in a Belgrade hotel elevator: 

    To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
    should enter more persons, each one should press a number of
    wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. 

10
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Sign in a Belgrade hotel elevator: 

    To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
    should enter more persons, each one should press a number of
    wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. 

11
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Sign in a Paris hotel elevator

Please leave your values at the front desk. 

12
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Sign in a hotel in Athens: 

Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily. 

13
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Sign in a Yugoslavian hotel: 

    The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. 

14
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Sign in a Japanese hotel: 

    You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. 

15
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Kremlin aides said Friday that President Boris Yeltsin, now in 
hospital with pneumonia, should be well enough to see out his 
remaining 18 months in office. The Premier's spokesperson 
also called on American doctor Jack Kevorkian to please stop 
pestering the Kremlin with calls and letters.




The stories continue below

 


16
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Ukraine man crashes car as 50 pagers ring at once

January 14, 1999

KIEV, Ukraine (Reuters) -- A Ukraine businessman who bought a pager for
each member of his staff as a New Year gift was so alarmed when all 50 of
them went off at the same time that he drove his car into a lamp post, a
newspaper said on Thursday.

The unnamed businessman was returning from the pager shop when the accident
happened, the Fakty daily reported.

"With no more than 100 meters to go to the office, the 50 pagers on the
back seat suddenly burst out screeching. The businessman's fright was such
that he simply let go of the steering wheel and the the car ploughed into a
lamp post."

After he had assessed the damage to the car, the businessman turned his
attention to the message on the 50 pagers. It read: "Congratulations on a
successful purchase!

17
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Our correspondent in Poland reports that Wojciech Jaruzelski,
Tadeusz Mazowiecki and Lech Walesa met in a summit conference,
and the only thing that they could agree on was that George
Bush has a funny name. 

From the SF Chronicle, Herb Caen's column 


18
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Taking "Amateur Night" Too Far: In Betulia, Colombia, an annual festival
in November includes five days of amateur bullfighting. This year, no bull
was killed, but dozens of matadors were injured, including one gored in
the head and one Bobbittized. Said one participant, "It's just one bull
against [a town of] a thousand morons." 


19
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Those German controllers at Frankfurt Airport tend to be a 
short-tempered lot. They not only expect pilots to know their 
parking location but how to get there without any assistance. 

So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened 
to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a 
British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing.

Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt. Speedbird 206 clear 
to active."

Ground: "Good Morning. Taxi to your gate."

The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground. I'm looking up the gate 
location now."

Ground (impatiently): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to 
Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly), "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop."

20
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Hitting on the novel idea that he could end his wife's incessant nagging 
by giving her a good scare, Hungarian Jake Fen built an elaborate harness 
to make it look as if he had hanged himself.
When his wife came home and saw him she fainted. Hearing a disturbance a 
neighbor came over and, finding what she thought were two corpses, seized 
the opportunity to loot the place. As she was leaving the room, her arms 
laden, the outraged and suspended Mr. Fen kicked her stoutly in the 
backside. This so surprised the lady that she dropped dead of a heart 
attack. Happily, Mr. Fen was acquitted of manslaughter and he and his wife 
were reconciled.

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