The British are feeling the pinch in relation to
recent bombings and have raised their security level
from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon though, security
levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even
"A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross"
since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran
out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from
"Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the
British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was
during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that
it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to
"Hide". The only two higher levels in France are
"Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was
precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's
white flag factory, effectively paralysing the
country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a
heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the
alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to
"elaborate military posturing". Two more levels
remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change
sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from
"disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing
marching songs". They also have two higher levels:
"invade a neighbour" and "lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as
usual and the only threat they worry about is NATO
pulling out of Brussels.