And now, news from the Royal wedding...

On the day of the wedding, Sophie was getting dressed, surrounded
by all her family, and she suddenly realised she had forgotten to
get any shoes.
Panic!
Then her sister remembered that she had a pair of white shoes
from her wedding so she lent them to Sophie for the day.
Unfortunately they were a bit too small and by the time the
festivities were over Sophie's feet were agony.  When she and
Edward withdrew to their room the only thing she could think  of
was getting her shoes off.
The rest of the Family crowded round the door to the bedroom and
they heard roughly what they expected, grunts, straining noises
and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually they heard Edward
say "God that was tight"
"There," whispered the Queen. "I told you she was a virgin."
Then to their surprise, they heard Edward say. "Right. Now for
the other one."
Followed by more grunting and straining and at last Edward said,
"My God.  That was even tighter"
That's my boy," said the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."