Today's stories [7.22.19]
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After the worldwide strike of the "I LOVE YOU VIRUS," reports are already
coming in that the virus is mutating into several stages. Within the next
few hours, expect to see:
The original "I love you" virus
The "I like you alot" virus
The "You're nice, but I just want to be friends" virus
The "Look, it was just a date...don't get clingy" virus
The "Okay, I think its best if we don't have anymore contact" virus
The "It was late, I was drunk, you were easy" virus
The "Stop calling me, you unfeeling jerk" virus
The "That's it, I hate you and your stupid dog" virus
The "You have made an enemy today, prepare to be boarded" virus
Something only recently discovered:
Due to an anticipated voter turnout much larger than
originally expected, the polling facilities may not
be able to handle the load all at once.
Therefore, Republicans are requested to vote on
Wednesday, November 8, and Democrats and Independents
on Tuesday, November 7. Please pass this message
along and help us to make sure that nobody gets left out.
2000 Presidential Election Commission
When George W. Bush was asked if he knew what Roe versus Wade was,
he said he thought it was the decision that General George Washington
needed to make when he planned to cross the Delaware.
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