Today's stories [9.24.18]
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I pulled into a town I couldn't believe still
existed in 1999.
A dusty, dirt road, a little old wooden store that
actually said "General Store", and that was it.
There was a little old man sitting in front of the
store in a rocking chair. I said to him, "What do
you folks do around here?"
He said, "We don't do nothin' but hunt n' fuck."
I said, "What do you hunt?"
He said, "Somethin' to fuck."
Tech Support: "All right...now double-click
on the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows-because
of the icons.-I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir.
I don't believe it was meant to-"
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'.
I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little
picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?"
Adventures in teaching
My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales
at night. Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often
ad-libs parts of the stories for fun.
One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade
class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three
She came to the part of the story where the first pig was
trying to acquire building materials for his home. She
said "...And so the pig went up to the man with a
wheelbarrow full of straw and said 'Pardon me sir, but might
I have some of that straw to build my house with?'" Then the
teacher asked the class "And what do you think that man said?"
and my friend's son raised his hand and said
"I know! I know! He said 'Holy smokes! A talking pig!'"
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