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	Never kick a fresh cow pie on a hot day. - Harry S. Truman

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	Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It annoys them very much. - G.K. Chesterton

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	Never murder a man when he's busy committing suicide. - Woodrow Wilson

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	Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

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	* Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats---approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing
worse will happen to you the rest of the day. 

The man who fears no truths has nothing to fear from lies. 

     - Thomas Jefferson 

Pay attention to your enemies. They are the first to discover your mistakes. 

     - Antisthenes 

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
         Red Buttons

Never moon a werewolf.
         Mike Binder