Never kick a fresh cow pie on a hot day. - Harry S. Truman
Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It annoys them very much. - G.K. Chesterton
Never murder a man when he's busy committing suicide. - Woodrow Wilson
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
* Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats---approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
The man who fears no truths has nothing to fear from lies. - Thomas Jefferson
Pay attention to your enemies. They are the first to discover your mistakes. - Antisthenes
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Red Buttons
Never moon a werewolf. Mike Binder