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Main › Archives › Quotes › Category: Steven Wright
Page 1 (There are 2 pages of quotes in this category.) To go to a different page, click the page nums below.
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| Email Friend | | | In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything.
Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check.
Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out"
-- Steven Wright
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| Email Friend | | | "Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests."
-- Steven Wright
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| Email Friend | | | What's another word for Thesaurus?
- Steve Wright
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| Email Friend | | | I have an answering machine in my car. It says: I'm
home now,but leave a message and I'll call when
I'm out.
Steven Wright
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| Email Friend | | | "I went to a job interview the other day, the guy asked
if I had any questions. I said yes, just one, if you're
in a car traveling at the speed of light and you turn
your headlights on, does anything happen? He said he
couldn't answer that. I told him sorry, but I couldn't
work for him then."
- Steven Wright
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| 6 |
| Email Friend | | | "What's another word for thesaurus?"
Steven Wright.
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| Email Friend | | | When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter.
- Stephen Wright
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| 8 |
| Email Friend | | | I broke a mirror.
I'm supposed to get 7 years bad luck. My lawyer says he can get me 5.
- Steven Wright
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| Email Friend | | | In the woods a saw a rabbit with a candle making shadows of people on a
tree.
- Steven Wright
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| Email Friend | | | A lot of people are afraid of heights.
Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
- Steven Wright
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