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	"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country." --- Elayne Boosler

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	You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

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	I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels GOOD for 36 hours. - Rita Rudner

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	My husband and I are either going to buy a dog, or have a child. We can't decide to ruin our carpet, or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

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	A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money. - Everett Dirksen

Don't force it, get a larger hammer.

The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

to alchohol, the cause of and solution to all life's problems 

-- Homer Simpson

I believe that a woman should be put on a pedestal.
(High enough to look up her dress)

    - Steve Martin 

"Scientists say there are over 3,000 spiders for
every human being on earth. Does anybody want
mine? I certainly don't." 

    - Chuck Bonner