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	Never try to out-stubborn a cat. - Lazarus Long, Time Enough for Love

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	God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent -- it says so right here in the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash, and in small bills. - Lazarus Long

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	Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. - Lazarus Long

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	Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy. - Lazarus Long

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	Rub her feet. - Lazarus Long

$100 placed at 7 percent interest compounded quarterly
for 200 years will increase to more than $100,000,000 --
by which time it will be worth nothing.

     - Lazarus Long 

Everybody lies about sex.

     - Lazarus Long 

It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.

    - Lazarus Long

Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well.

    - Lazarus Long

A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.

     - Lazarus Long