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Main › Archives › Quotes › Category: Comics and Comedians
Page 6 (There are 14 pages of quotes in this category.) To go to a different page, click the page nums below.
| 51 |
| Email Friend | | | "It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line."
- Woody Allen, from Play It Again, Sam
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| 52 |
| Email Friend | | | If you can't say something nice about someone, you are
probably talking about the Ayatollah Khomeini.
-Steve Martin
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| 53 |
| Email Friend | | | "American Beer is a lot like making love in a row boat --
It's F**king close to water!"
-Monty Python's Eric Idle
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| 54 |
| Email Friend | | | When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons
a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an
entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.
- Postpetroleum Guzzler, Dave Barry
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| 55 |
| Email Friend | | | Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind
is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
- Dave Barry's Bad Habits, Dave Barry
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| 56 |
| Email Friend | | | Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a
man's genitals through his wallet.
-Robin Williams
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| 57 |
| Email Friend | | | You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this
look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
-Dave Barry
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| 58 |
| Email Friend | | | According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front
of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of
course, men are just grateful.
-Jay Leno
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| 59 |
| Email Friend | | | There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?
-Jay Leno
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| 60 |
| Email Friend | | | Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a
plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across
that floor. I told him he was grounded.
-Tim Allen
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