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Main › Archives › Quotes › Category: Comics and Comedians
Page 12 (There are 14 pages of quotes in this category.) To go to a different page, click the page nums below.
| 111 |
| Email Friend | | | Platonic friend is like a dick in a glass.
In case of an emergency -- you break the glass.
-- Chris Rock
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| 112 |
| Email Friend | | | "You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
Steve Martin
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| 113 |
| Email Friend | | | "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't
have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
Woody Allen
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| 114 |
| Email Friend | | | "Bisexuality immediately doubles your
chances for a date on Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield
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| 115 |
| Email Friend | | | I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends
told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything
that feels good for 36 hours.
-Rita Rudner
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| 116 |
| Email Friend | | | My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We
can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
-Rita Rudner
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| 117 |
| Email Friend | | | "The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow
'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular."
--Jay Leno
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| 118 |
| Email Friend | | | "The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have
the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You know,
when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an
imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain."
- Bill Maher
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| 119 |
| Email Friend | | | "CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam
Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam
said, 'It's not so bad.'"
- Conan O'Brien
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| 120 |
| Email Friend | | | "Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much
as $80 a barrel. Of course, after the war it will be free."
- Jay Leno
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