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101		Email Friend
	"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh." - Conan O'Brien

102		Email Friend
	"The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner." - Roseanne

103		Email Friend
	"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" - Richard Jeni

104		Email Friend
	"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." - Johnny Carson

105		Email Friend
	"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that's the law." - Jerry Seinfeld

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think
of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."

                                           - Roseanne

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

                                 - Steve Martin

"The reason there are two senators for each
state is so that one can be designated driver."

                                 -- Jay Leno

"Don't Keep reaching for the stars 
because you'll just look like an idiot 
stretching that way for no reason"
                       -- Jimmy Fallon

"Hoping to get people to go to museums 
again, New York City has started a new 
ad campaign called "I Love New York 
Culture". But if they want me to go 
back to museums, they should name the 
campaign "Sorry We Yelled At You For 
Touching Stuff, Jimmy Fallon." 
                      -- Jimmy Fallon