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Main › Archives › Quotes › Category: Comics and Comedians
Page 10 (There are 14 pages of quotes in this category.) To go to a different page, click the page nums below.
| 91 |
| Email Friend | | | "I would never do crack... I would never do a drug
named after a part of my own ass, okay?"
Denis Leary.
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| 92 |
| Email Friend | | | I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel
like getting married, they send over a lady in a
housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin
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| 93 |
| Email Friend | | | "Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and,
instead of bleeding, he sings."
Ed Gardner.
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| 94 |
| Email Friend | | | "I went to watch Pavarotti once.
He doesn't like it when you join in."
Mick Miller.
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| 95 |
| Email Friend | | | "I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan of theirs."
Kevin Gildea.
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| 96 |
| Email Friend | | | "Ever wonder if illiterate people get the
full effect of alphabet soup?"
John Mendosa.
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| 97 |
| Email Friend | | | "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my
fishburger and I realize, Oh my God... I could be eating a slow learner."
- Lynda Montgomery
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| 98 |
| Email Friend | | | Imagine if there were no hypothetical situations...
- John Mendosa
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| 99 |
| Email Friend | | | "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that. It's called
EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
- Drew Carey
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| 100 |
| Email Friend | | | "The problem with the designated driver program,
it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get
sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the
end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
- Jeff Foxworthy
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