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	"The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet." Oliver Herford.

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	When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter. - Stephen Wright

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	"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" - Richard Jeni

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	"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." - Johnny Carson

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	"A billion years ago, human life appearred on earth. A billion minutes ago Christianity emerged. A billion Coca-Colas ago was yesterday morning." 1996 Coca-Cola annual report

Today's standards of performance are 
yesterday's standards of excellence and 
tomorrow's standards of mediocrity.


Sent by Paul

Samuel Colt- Inventor of the point-and-click interface.


Sent by Tara

"The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 
'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular."

                                                    --Jay Leno

"Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much
as $80 a barrel. Of course, after the war it will be free."

                                                   - Jay Leno

"Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate.
The Butcher of Baghdad vs. the Butcher of the English language."

                                                - Jay Leno