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	'Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice Doggie!' till you can find a rock' Wynn Catlin

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	"I'd rather she'd used me for sex. Using me for my mind really bothered me." -- Carl Jacobs

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	"By ten I was so wasted I had been officially downgraded to a lower rung on the evolutionary ladder. Some guy in a suit came up, listened to my attempts to string words together, revoked my rights as Homo Sapiens on the spot and reclassified me as some kind of plant life. I had to fill in all kinds of forms and shit. It was very embarrassing." -- Michael Marshall Smith, "Spares"

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	The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise. Roger Simon

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	A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business. Shelley Berman

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
         Dave Edison

"Excellent, there's nothing quite like a blunt object to reinforce proper
 administration ethics."

-- Simon Travaglia

It's not hard to tell we was poor -- when you saw the toilet paper
   dryin' on the clothesline.
         George Lindsey

Never moon a werewolf.
         Mike Binder

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by
   candlelight.
         George Gobel