If Man were meant to use the metric system, Jesus would have had 10 disciples. 

"The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that
 believe in it. Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that
 believe in it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't."
                        -- Honest Book of Truth; The Gospel According to
                                Fred, 3:1

"God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on
 where to go.
         'Why not go to Jupiter?' asked St. Peter.
         'No, too much gravity, too much stomping around,' said God.
         'Well, how about Mercury?'
         'No, it's too hot there.'
         'Okay,' said St. Peter, 'What about Earth?'
         'No,' said God, 'They're such horrible gossips.  When I was
 there 2000 years ago, I had an affair with a Jewish woman, and they're
 still talking about it.'"
                        -- fortune

"Satan is my sad... pathetic... knob."
                        -- Alasdair McLellan

"... I disturbed a burglar the other night... I told him there is no god..."
                        -- Peter Murkin (sp?)