I saw on this nature show how the male elk douses himself with
       urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!

A bird in the hand will probably shit on your wrist.

"Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep." --
       Fran Lebowitz

"From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed
 with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
                        -- Groucho Marx, from "The Book of Insults"

Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the
       mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it's all organised by the
       Swiss. Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French,
       the lover's Swiss, the police German and it's all organised by the
       Italians.