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	A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. - Steven Wright

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	I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. - Steven Wright

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	I spilt spot remover on my dog, now's he gone. - Steven Wright

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	I put instant coffee into a microwave oven. I almost went backin time. - Steven Wright

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	I have lots of hobbies which I pursue to the fullest. I have a large sea shell collection which I keep scattered on beaches across the world. Maybe you've seen it. I also collect rare photos. I have a very rare photo of Houdini locking his keys in his car. - Steven Wright

"El Nino taught me that some of the most beautiful things in nature are 
also the most dangerous. Like 30 foot waves, giant thunderstorms, and 
topless blondes driving on rain-soaked highways." 

                                             - Mark Schmidt

"If I had a dollar for every casino in the world, I'd probably lose it 
all gambling." 

- Paul Bartunek

A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one 
book, what would it be?

I always say How to Build a Boat 

                                             - Steven Wright

"We are an impossibility in an impossible universe." 

                                     - Ray Bradbury

"I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding 
a charge." 

                                        - Edward Chilton