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Main › Archives › Quotes › Category: Witticisms
Page 38 (There are 40 pages of quotes in this category.) To go to a different page, click the page nums below.
| 371 |
| Email Friend | | | A lot of people are afraid of heights.
Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
- Steven Wright
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| 372 |
| Email Friend | | | I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
- Steven Wright
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| 373 |
| Email Friend | | | I spilt spot remover on my dog, now's he gone.
- Steven Wright
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| 374 |
| Email Friend | | | I put instant coffee into a microwave oven. I almost went backin time.
- Steven Wright
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| 375 |
| Email Friend | | | I have lots of hobbies which I pursue to the fullest.
I have a large sea shell collection which I keep scattered on beaches
across the world. Maybe you've seen it.
I also collect rare photos. I have a very rare photo of Houdini locking
his keys in his car.
- Steven Wright
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| 376 |
| Email Friend | | | "El Nino taught me that some of the most beautiful things in nature are
also the most dangerous. Like 30 foot waves, giant thunderstorms, and
topless blondes driving on rain-soaked highways."
- Mark Schmidt
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| 377 |
| Email Friend | | | "If I had a dollar for every casino in the world, I'd probably lose it
all gambling."
- Paul Bartunek
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| 378 |
| Email Friend | | | A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one
book, what would it be?
I always say How to Build a Boat
- Steven Wright
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| 379 |
| Email Friend | | | "We are an impossibility in an impossible universe."
- Ray Bradbury
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| 380 |
| Email Friend | | | "I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding
a charge."
- Edward Chilton
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