"High heels will make your legs look more elegant.
Now, how can you shave them without my wife finding out?" 

- Dave Henry 

"Might does not make right.
But it sure makes what is." 

- Edward Abbey 

"Quotation, n. The act of repeating erroneously the words of another."
                        -- Ambrose Bierce

"Salmon Day: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
 only to get screwed in the end."
                        -- From Ross Williams' FunList

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
       because I hate plants. -- A. Whitney Brown