Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a
   mistake when you make it again.
   -- F. P.Jones

Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of
   which I disapprove.
   -- Ashleigh Brilliant

Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict,
   Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease".
   Disraeli replied, "That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your
   principles or your mistress."

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but
   phone calls taper off.
   -- Johnny Carson

G: "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?" EB:
   "Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and
   scatter oneself over a wide area."
   -- Somewhere in No Man's Land, BA4