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	Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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	A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory

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	"Spell 'Paranoia'" "I can't! I'm diabetic! It means I can't spell!" -- me, a very drunk guy at a party

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	"This song explores a more contemporary version of Jungian psychotherapy involving high colonics" -- Maynard James Keenan of Tool, regarding their song AEnema

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	I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use
                                         whatsoever.

                                - - - Sigmund Freud (about the Irish)

When doctors and undertakers meet, they always wink at each other.

     - W. C. Fields 

"I've been seeing spots in front of my eyes."
"Have you seen a doctor?"
"No, just spots." 

I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats.
I don't intend to waste any of mine running around exercising.

    - Neil Armstrong 

A hospital is a place where men keep asking the nurses
for dates and the nurses keep giving them prunes.