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Main › Archives › Quotes › Category: Old Age
Page 1 (There are 2 pages of quotes in this category.) To go to a different page, click the page nums below.
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| Email Friend | | | You know you're getting old when you can't tell
the difference between a heart attack and an orgasm.
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| 2 |
| Email Friend | | | It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
- Lazarus Long
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| 3 |
| Email Friend | | | The nice thing about being senile is -- your always meeting new people.
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| 4 |
| Email Friend | | | I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as
they get older, then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for their
finals.
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| 5 |
| Email Friend | | | "The best thing about Altzheimers is getting to hide your
own Easter eggs."
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| 6 |
| Email Friend | | | "To what do you attribute your old age?"
"The fact that I was born a long time ago."
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| 7 |
| Email Friend | | | The only reason I would take up jogging is so that
I could hear heavy breathing again.
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| 8 |
| Email Friend | | | "I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day.
At my age I have to hold on to something."
George Burns.
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| 9 |
| Email Friend | | | "Maybe there is no actual place called hell.
Maybe hell is just having to listen to our
grandparents breathe through their noses when
they're eating sandwiches."
Jim Carey.
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| 10 |
| Email Friend | | | "My parents didn't want to move to Florida,
but they turned sixty, and that's the law."
- Jerry Seinfeld
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