"`Rock' is the music of slaves. Of adolescents pursuing the illusion of
freedom and protest while the steel chains of technology bind them ever
tighter."

                                           --Edward Abbey

"There are two kinds of people I cannot abide: bigots and any well-organized
ethnic group."

                            --Edward Abbey

"Zen: the sound of the ax chopping. Chopping logic."

                                          --Edward Abbey

"If America could be, once again, a nation of self-reliant farmers, craftsmen,
hunters, ranchers, and artists, then the rich would have little power to
dominate others. Neither to serve nor to rule: That was the American dream."

                                                      --Edward Abbey

"Nobody seems more obsessed by diet than our antimaterialist, otherworldly,
New Age, spiritual types. But if the material world is merely illusion, an
honest guru should as content with Budweiser and bratwurst as with raw carrot
juice, tofu, and seaweed slime."

                                         --Edward Abbey

"Terrorism: deadly violence against humans and other living things. 
 Usually conducted by government against its own people."
 
                                                 --Edward Abbey

"If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns."

                                               --Edward Abbey
 

"Whenever I read "Time" or "Newsweek" or such magazines,
I wash my hands afterward. But how to wash off the small
but odious stain such reading leaves on the mind?"

                                           --Edward Abbey

true patriotism:

"`Say what you like about my bloody murderous government,' I says, `but don't
insult me poor bleedin' country.'"

--Edward Abbey

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I
don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash
clothes on the last day of their life? 

For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese.
Then the stronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's
what happens to cheese when you leave it out.

My Dick is so small if I got circumsized again, I'd have a scab on my ass...

I can resist everything except temptation.

Oscar Wilde

I have an answering machine in my car. It says: I'm
home now,but leave a message and I'll call when
I'm out.

Steven Wright

Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without
the necessities.

Frank Lloyd Wright

Country Music Song Titles
You're The Reason Why Our Kids Are Ugly.

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes ? I don't
think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just
to muffle the screams.

Rita Rudner

When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell
that is.

Ayn Rand

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember,
we were way ahead of you.

David Letterman

As is well known, an elk that is shot within fifteen feet
of your hunting vehicle will still pull himself together
enough to gallop to the very bottom of the steepest canyon
within five miles. 

     - Patrick F. McManus