Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's quotes [7.25.17]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.


On one occasion a student burst into his office. "Professor Stigler, I
   don't believe I deserve this F you've given me." To which Stigler
   replied, "I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the
   University will allow me to award."


1. 




Don't worry about temptation--as you grow older, it starts avoiding
   you.
   -- Old Farmer's Almanac


2. 




G: "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?" EB:
   "Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and
   scatter oneself over a wide area."
   -- Somewhere in No Man's Land, BA4


3. 




The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.
   -- Salvador Dali


4. 




Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
   Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
   because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
   forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live
   forever.
   -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest


5. 



BONUS! A random quote from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Funny Pic

 July '17 Quotes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
                  1  
2  3  4  5  6  7  8  
9  10 11 12 13 14 15 
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 
23 24 25 26 27 28 29 
30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.