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Today's quotes [3.24.18]

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Man - a creature created at the end of a workweek when God was tired. 

                                            - Mark Twain


"El Nino taught me that some of the most beautiful things in nature are 
also the most dangerous. Like 30 foot waves, giant thunderstorms, and 
topless blondes driving on rain-soaked highways." 

                                             - Mark Schmidt


"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." 

                                            - Lily Tomlin


Although plastic was brought into industrial use in 1909 by L.H. Baekland 
of Yonkers, it was not until the end of World War II that the modern 
miracle substance was used in a wide variety of consumer goods, among 
them speedboats, dentures and flamingos. Previously flamingos were made 
of cement. Before that they were made by other flamingos.

- William E. Geist, The New York Times


I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of 
oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate 

                                    - J. Edgar Hoover


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