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Today's quotes [5.27.19]

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Don't Blame Me - I voted for Gore... I Think

1. 




"A critic is like a eunich: he knows exactly how it ought to be done."

2. 




If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the
other trees make fun of it?

3. 




I have learned that if you upset your wife, she nags you.
If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment.
Don't you think it's worth the extra effort?

4. 




"I went to a job interview the other day, the guy asked
if I had any questions. I said yes, just one, if you're
in a car traveling at the speed of light and you turn
your headlights on, does anything happen? He said he
couldn't answer that. I told him sorry, but I couldn't
work for him then."

 - Steven Wright

5. 



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