Today's quotes [3.24.18]
Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
Man - a creature created at the end of a workweek when God was tired.
- Mark Twain
"El Nino taught me that some of the most beautiful things in nature are
also the most dangerous. Like 30 foot waves, giant thunderstorms, and
topless blondes driving on rain-soaked highways."
- Mark Schmidt
"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."
- Lily Tomlin
Although plastic was brought into industrial use in 1909 by L.H. Baekland
of Yonkers, it was not until the end of World War II that the modern
miracle substance was used in a wide variety of consumer goods, among
them speedboats, dentures and flamingos. Previously flamingos were made
of cement. Before that they were made by other flamingos.
- William E. Geist, The New York Times
I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of
oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate
- J. Edgar Hoover
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31