Today's poems [12.14.18]
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Said an ardent young bridegroom named Trask,
"I will grant any wish that you ask,"
Said the bride, "Kiss me, dearie,
Until I grow weary,"
But he died of old age at the task.
There was a young man from Bangore
Who was tired and said to his whore,
"If you'll only roll over
I'll get my dog Rover,
And you can have six inches more."
There was a young man from St. Paul
Who had really no scruples at all---
He would fart when he'd talk,
And shit when he'd walk,
And at night throw it over the wall.
There once was a man named MacBride
Who fell in a privy and died.
He had a young brother,
Who fell in another,
And now they're interred (in turd) side by side.
Ode to Alcohol
Starkle, starkle, little twink,
Who the hell you are I think,
I'm not under what they call
The alcofluence of incohol.
I'm not drunk as thinkle peep,
I'm just a little slort of sheep.
Tee martoonis make a guy
Fool so feelish, don't know why
Rally don't know who's me yet
The drunker I stay the longer I get
So just one more to full my cup,
I've all day sober to Sunday up.
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