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Today's poems [5.28.17]

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Since the girl couldn't type, she was fired;
And asked to explain why she was hired.
"The executive's dong
Is only four inches long.
I thought shorthand was all he required" 

1. 




               There was a young man from Aberdeen 
               Who invented a jerking machine. 
                    On the twenty-fifth stroke 
                    The goddamn thing broke 
               And beat his balls into a cream. 
                                                  

2. 




There once was a man from Calcutta
Who spoke with a terrible stutter
To the waiter he said,
"Give me bu-bu-bu-bread
and some bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-butter."

Sent by Jennifer 

3. 




A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed

4. 




To the tune of 'Yesterday':

Leprocy, bits and pieces falling off of me,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
Oh I contracted Leprocy.


5. 



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