Today's poems [8.14.18]

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There was a young lady of Maine
Who declared she'd a man on her brain.
But you knew from the view
Of her waist as it grew
It was not on her brain that he'd lain.

There was a young fellow from Florida
Who liked a friend's wife, so he borrowed her.
When they got into bed,
He cried, "God strike me dead,
This ain't a cunt, it's a corridor!" 

Oh, that supple young man of Montrose 
               Who tickled his tail with his toes! 
                    His landlady said, 
                    As she made up his bed, 
               "My God! How that man blows his nose!" 

There once was a Bishop of Treet
Who decided to be indiscreet,
But after one round
To his horror he found
You repeat, and repeat, and repeat.

Mary had a little lamb,
     Its fleece was slightly grey.
     It didn't have a father,
     Just some borrowed DNA.

     It sort of had a mother,
     Though the ovum was on loan.
     It was not so much a lambkin
     As a little lamby clone.

     And soon it had a fellow clone,
     And soon it had some more.
     It made the children laugh and sing,
     The teachers found it droll;
     There were too many lamby clones
     For Mary to control.

     No other could control the sheep
     Since their programs didn't vary,
     So the scientists resolved it all
     By simply cloning Mary.

     But now they feel quite sheepish,
     Those scientists unwary.
     One problem solved, but what to do
     With Mary, Mary, Mary?

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