Today's poems [4.22.18]
Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to poem categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.
There once was a man from Horton,
Who had one long ball and one short one,
To make up for his loss,
He had a cock like a hoss,
And could fart like a 650 Norton.
Sent by Dale
There was a young lady of fashion
Who had oodles and oodles of passion.
To her lover she said,
As they climbed into bed,
"Here's one thing the bastards can't ration!"
The Beer Prayer
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and
Sent by aftab
Hit By A Bus By Andy Christopfel
God I'm late
For today...today I have a date
With my professor that is
Gotta hurry, no time for fun
stab me with a knife
School is much more important than this
precious little life
Whizzing past the students
Running blindly pass the campus sights
I take a step into the street and meet
my creator's device
Call me an idiot
Call me a damn fool
I did not do it in the name of love,
Rather, in the name of school
Pick up the telephone and call that paramedic...
While you're at it, call my mommy too
But now it's too late,
And there's nothing that you can do
I can't even speak, scream, yell or cuss
Oh my God! Oh my God!
I've been HIT BY A BUS
Sent by andrew christopfel
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Eyed the girls and had a ball,
Lots of whistles, even a catcall,
Thus... Humpty had a great fall!
Then came the cold winter breeze
and Humpty's arse began to freeze...
though winter's sure to be a dreary thing...
Let's wish Humpty a bouncy spring!
By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28