Today's poems [4.22.18]

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There once was a man from Horton,
Who had one long ball and one short one,
To make up for his loss,
He had a cock like a hoss,
And could fart like a 650 Norton.

Sent by Dale

There was a young lady of fashion 
            Who had oodles and oodles of passion. 
                To her lover she said, 
                As they climbed into bed, 
            "Here's one thing the bastards can't ration!"

The Beer Prayer 

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against 
us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and 
the lager.

Barmen


Sent by aftab

Hit By A Bus     By Andy Christopfel

Late
God I'm late
For today...today I have a date
With my professor that is
Gotta go
Gotta run
Gotta hurry, no time for fun
shoot me
kill me
stab me with a knife
School is much more important than this 
precious little life
Whizzing past the students
Running blindly pass the campus sights
I take a step into the street and meet 
my creator's device
Call me an idiot
Call me a damn fool
I did not do it in the name of love,
Rather, in the name of school
Pick up the telephone and call that paramedic...
While you're at it, call my mommy too
But now it's too late,
And there's nothing that you can do
I can't even speak, scream, yell or cuss
Oh my God! Oh my God!
I've been HIT BY A BUS

Sent by andrew christopfel

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Eyed the girls and had a ball,
Lots of whistles, even a catcall,
Thus... Humpty had a great fall!

Then came the cold winter breeze
and Humpty's arse began to freeze...
though winter's sure to be a dreary thing... 
Let's wish Humpty a bouncy spring!

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