Today's poems [5.28.17]
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Since the girl couldn't type, she was fired;
And asked to explain why she was hired.
"The executive's dong
Is only four inches long.
I thought shorthand was all he required"
There was a young man from Aberdeen
Who invented a jerking machine.
On the twenty-fifth stroke
The goddamn thing broke
And beat his balls into a cream.
There once was a man from Calcutta
Who spoke with a terrible stutter
To the waiter he said,
"Give me bu-bu-bu-bread
and some bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-butter."
Sent by Jennifer
A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed
To the tune of 'Yesterday':
Leprocy, bits and pieces falling off of me,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
Oh I contracted Leprocy.
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