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Main Archives Poems Category: Animal World

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1
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Rosalina, a pretty young lass
Had a bruly magnificant ass:
Not rounded and pink,
As you possibly think -
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.


2
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            A cowhand way out in Seattle 
            Had a dooflicker flat as a paddle. 
                He said, "No, I can't fuck 
                A lamb or a duck, 
            But golly! it just fits the cattle." 

3
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A cautious young husband named Rafe 
            Used to diddle his wife with a safe. 
                Thus he thwarted God's wishes 
                And fed his pet fishes, 
            Which he kept in a bedside carafe. 

4
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There was a young man of Madras 
            Who was having a boy in the grass. 
                Then a cobra-capello 
                Said, "Hello, young fellow!" 
            And bit a piece out of his ass. 

5
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A wonderful fish is the flea, 
            He bores and he bites on me. 
                I would love, indeed, 
                To watch him feed, 
            But he bites me where I cannot see. 

6
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There was an old maid in Peru
               Who'd a dog and a cat and a gnu. 
                    From a sairlor named Harrot 
                    She bought an old parrot, 
               And he threw in a young cockatoo. 

7
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Here's to old King Montezuma, 
               For fun he would bugger a puma. 
                    The puma in play 
                    Clawed both balls away--- 
               How's that for animal humor? 

8
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On the plains of north-central Tibet 
               They've thought of the strangest thing yet: 
                    On the ass of a camel 
                    They pour blue enamel, 
               And bugger the beast while it's wet. 

9
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There was a young man who preferred 
               Having sex with some kind of a bird. 
                    The rarer the species, 
                    And the fuller of feces, 
               The better---that guy really loved turd. 

10
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In the quaint English village of Worcester 
               Lived a little red hen and a rooster. 
                    A coquettish glance 
                    She acquired in Framce 
               Gave him ants in his pants, and he goosed her. 

11
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Two roosters in one of our pens 
               Found their pricks were no larger than wens. 
                    As they looked at their foreskins 
                    And wished they had more skins, 
               They discovered they'd both become hens. 

12
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There was a young girl from Seattle 
            Who got her kicks sucking off cattle, 
                'til a bull from the South 
                Popped a load in her mouth 
            That made both her ovaries rattle. 

13
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There once was a horse named Lily 
               Whose dingus was really a dilly. 
                    It was vaganoid duply, 
                    And labial quadruply--- 
               In fact, he was really a filly. 

14
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A disgusting young man named McGill 
               Made his neighbors exceedingly ill 
                    When they learned of his habits 
                    Involving white rabbits 
               And a bird with a flexible bill 

15
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Said a lovely young lady named Lake, 
               Pervertedly fond of a snake, 
                    "If my good friend, the boa, 
                    Shoots spermatozoa, 
               What offspring we'll leave in our wake!" 


The poems continue below

 


16
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Another young lady would make 
               Advances to snake after snake. 
                    Though men she had met 
                    Got her diaphragm wet, 
               She wanted her glottis to shake. 

17
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There was a long lady named Weaver 
               Who had intercourse with a beaver. 
                    The result of their fuck 
                    Was a canvas-back duck, 
               Two muskrats and a hump-backed retriever. 

18
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               A lady who lives in Madras 
               Has a truly magnificent ass. 
                    It is not round and pink, 
                    As you probably think, 
               But is grey, has long ears, and eats grass.

19
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               A certain professor named Yarrow 
               Had trouble seducing a sparrow. 
                    When he'd given up hopin' 
                    He pried her jaws open, 
               And filled up her bill with his marrow. 

20
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               There once was a Bactrian camel 
               Who was bound by no fetter or trammel. 
                    When he tried to make hay 
                    In his Bactrian way, 
               His wife said, "Make me; I'm a mammal." 

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