Cows
...:::/// CLASSIC COWS \\\:::...
Part 1 of the 5-part COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS!
________________________
(__) / \ * OFFICIAL EDITION *
(oo) ( A real COWlector's Item! )
/-------\/ --'\________________________/ * SUMMER 1991 ISSUE! *
/ | ||
* ||----|| Edited by David A. Bader
^^ ^^ Please send your submissions to:
Cow dbader@scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu
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--------------------
TABLE OF COW-NTENTS:
--------------------
Part 1 ................................... The Classic Cows
Part 2 ................................... The Sequel of the Cows
Part 3 ................................... The Return of the Cows
Part 4 ................................... The Barnyard Gallery
Part 5 ................................... The Ancient History of the Cows
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______________
| D.A.B.'S | (__) (__) (__) (__)
| USED | (uu) (uu) (uu) (uu)
| COWS | /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
|____________| / | || / | || / | || / | ||
|| * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
|| ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
______||_______
| EASY CREDIT | (__) (__) (__) (__)
|_____________| (uu) (uu) (uu) (uu)
|| /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
|| / | || / | || / | || / | ||
|| * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
|| ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(__) (__) (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | || / | ||
* ||----|| * ||W---|| * ||w---|| * ||V---||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cow Cow laden Same cow Nancy Reagan-type
with milk after milking cow with milk
(___) (___) * (___) (___)
(o o) (o o) \ (o o) (o o)
/-------\ / /-------\ / \-------\ / /-------\ /
/ | ||O / | ||O | ||O / | ~#>-+|O
* ||,---|| * ||@\--|| ||,---|| * ||,----|
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^
Bull Same bull after Rotc bull after Red-blooded American
Bull
seeing above cow seeing other bull shooting the Rotc
bull
(__) (__) (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
/-------\/-* /-------\/ /-------\/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
/ | || \ )*)(\/* / * / | ||
* ||----|| * \ |||/)|/()( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\/|(/)(/\/(,,/ \)|(/\/|)(/\
Cow munching Grass munching Cow in water Cow in trouble
on grass on cow
(__) (__) * (__) * (__)
(oo) (oo) \ (oo) | (oo)
/--------\/ /-oooooo-\/ \-------\/ \-------\/
* o| || * ooooooooo o o| || / ||
||----|| ooooooooooooo ||----||>==/-----||
ooo^^ ^^ ooooooooooooooooo ^^ ^^ ^^
Cow taking Cow in deep Cow getting the shit
a shit shit kicked out of her
(__)
(oo) U
/-------\/ /---V
/ | || * |--| .
* ||----||
^^ ^^
Cow at 1 meter. Cow at 100 meters. Cow at 10,000 meters.
(__) )__( vv vv
(oo) (oo) ||----|| *
/-------\/ *-------\/ || | /
/ | || / | || /\-------/
* ||----|| / ||----|| (oo)
^^ ^^ vv vv (~~)
American Cow Polish Cow Australian Cow
(__) (__) (__)
(oo) ____ (oo) _---_(oo)
/-------\/ /- --\/ /- -\/
/ | || / | || /| ||
* ||----|| * ||___-|| * ||___-||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Freshman Cow at Freshman Cow Freshman Cow
start of school After the "Freshman 15" After the "Freshman 20"
(__) (__) (__)
(OO) (@@) (xx)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cow who drank Jolt Cow who ate Cow who used Jolt to wash
psychadelic mushrooms down psychadelic mushrooms
/\ __
/ \ ||
(__) (__) \ / (_||_)
SooS (oo) \/ (oo)
/------S\/S /-------\/ /S /-------\/
/ | || / | || / S / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----||___/ S * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
This cow belonged Ben Franklin owned Abe Lincoln's
to George Washington this cow cow
(__)
* (__) (oo)
\ (oo) /------\/
\-------\/ /| |/ |
| ==$ || / | [) ||
||----|| * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Old "One Arm" belonged This cow is obviously
to Ceasar's Palace Hugh Hefner's Heifer
(___) (__) (__)
( O ) (oo) (oo)
/-------\ / \/--------\/
/ | ||V | |
* ||----|| ||------||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
The cyclops that Jason and This cow lived with
the Argonauts met had this cow Dr. Doolittle
(__) (__)
[##] (@o)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /------- (__)
/ | || / | || / | || (oo)
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|---\/
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^
This cow belonged This cow lived with This cow belonged to
to Flash Gordon the Little Rascals the Headless Horseman
(____) (____) (__
)
(oo ) (o o) ( O
O)
/-----------\ / /-----\ /---- /-----------\
/ || | \/ / | | \/ | / || | \
/ || |||| \ | | | | | / || ||||
* ||||-----|||| *| | |-----| | | * ||||-----||||
/\/\ /\/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ ^^^^ ^^^^
This cow belonged This was Salvatore No one was sure
whether
to Pablo Picasso Dali's favorite cow M.C. Escher's cow had
four
legs or eight
(__)
(__) (oo) (__)
(oo) /\/ (oo)
/-------\/ /--/-- \/-----
/ | || / | `-. / | `-.
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
OO OO OO OO OO OO
Cow-vertible . . .
(__)
*_ *_ ( oo *_
\ (__) \ /\/ \ (__)
\.----( oo____ \.-/----._____ \.( oo___\____
||____\/____ \ ||__________ \ |_\/________ \
OO `OO OO `OO OO `OO
Cow-vette Cow-vertible (of cowrse)
* (___) * (___) (__)
\ (o o) \ (o o) (oo)
\-------\ / \-------\ / /-------\/ ________
| ||O | ||O / | ||_|/ O _______
||,---|| ||,---|| * ||----| --
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^
Twins Cow Catcher