1. COACH: What would you say to a glass of beer, Norm?
NORM : Going Down?


2. COACH: What would you say to a glass of beer, Norm?
NORM : Daddy wuvs you.


3. COACH: What's shaking, Norm?
NORM : All 4 cheeks and a couple of chins.


4. COACH: What'll it be, Normie?
NORM : Just the usual Coach.  I'll have a froath of beer and a snorkel.


5. SAM  : What'll you have, Norm?
NORM : Well I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy.  I'll have a glass of whatever
       comes of whatever comes out of that tap.
SAM  : Oh, Looks like beer, Norm.
NORM : Call me Mister Lucky.


6. WOODY: Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you.
NORM : I know, and if she calls, I'm not here.


7. WOODY: Hey Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost been nipping at your nose?
NORM : Yep.  Now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?


8. COACH: Can I draw you a beer, Norm?
NORM : No, I know what one looks like.  Just pour me one.


9. COACH: How about a beer, Norm?
NORM : Hey I'm high on life, Cooach....Of course, beer is my life.


10. COACH: How's a beer sound, Norm?
NORM : I dunno.  I usually finish them before they get a word in.

11. COACH: What's going down, Normie?
NORM : My butt cheeks on that bar stool.


12. COACH: What's up, Norm?
NORM : Corners of my mouth, Coach.


13. COACH: Beer, Normie?
NORM : Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week.  Eh, why not, I'm still
       young.


14. COACH: Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?
NORM : With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe.


15. COACH: What's up, Normie?
NORM : The tempurature under my collar, Coach.


16. COACH: What's up, Norm?
NORM : Everything that's supposed to be.


17. COACH: What's up, Normie?
NORM : My nipples, it's freezing out there.


18. SAM  : What's new, Norm?
NORM : Terrorists, Sam.  They've taken over my stomach and they're
       demanding beer.


19. SAM  : What'd you like, Norm?
NORM : A reason to live.  Gimme another beer.


20. SAM  : What do you say, Norm?
NORM : Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer.


21. SAM  : What do you say to a beer, Norm?
NORM : Hiya sailor.  New in town?


22. SAM  : What's the good word, Norm?
NORM : Plop,  plop, fizz,fizz.


23. SAM  : Oh no, not the Hungry Heifer...
NORM : Yeah, yeah, yeah....
SAM  : One heartburn cocktail coming up.


24. SAM  : How's life in the fast lane?
NORM : Dunno, I can't get on the on-ramp.


25. SAM  : What's the story, Norm?
NORM : Boy meets beer.  Boy drinks beer.  Boy meets another beer.


26. SAM  : How about a beer, Norm?
NORM : That's that amber sudsy stuff, right?  I've heard great things
       about it.


27. SAM  : How's life treating you, Norm?
NORM : It's not, Sammy, but you can.


28. SAM  : Beer, Norm?
NORM : Have I gotten that predictable? Good.


29. SAM  : Whatcha up to, Norm?
NORM : My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall.


30. SAM  : How's life treating you, Norm?
NORM : Like it caught me sleeping with his wife.

31. NORM : Afternoon everybody.
ALL  : Norm!
CLIFF: Afternoon everybody.
ALL  : [silence]


32. NORM : [come in from the rain] Evening everbody.
ALL  : Norm!
SAM  : Still pouring, Norm?
NORM : That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.


33. WOODY: Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : A little early isn't it?
WOODY: For a beer?
NORM : No, for a stupid question.


34. WOODY: What's the story, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery.  Let's cut to happy ending.


35. WOODY: How's it going, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : Poor.
WOODY: I'm sorry to hear that.
NORM : No, I mean pour.


36. WOODY: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : A sign flashing in my gut that says, "Insert beer here."


37. WOODY: What's your  pleasure, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : Boxer shorts and loose shoes.  But I'll settle for a beer.


38. WOODY: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : Another layer for winter, Wood.


39. WOODY: Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : Alright, but stop me at one.....make it one-thirty.


40. WOODY: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
NORM : The question is what's going in, Mr. Peterson?  A beer  please,
       Woody.


41. WOODY: How's it going Mr. Peterson?
NORM : It's a dog eat dog world out there, Woody, and I'm wearing
       milkbone underwear.


42. PAUL : Hey Norm, how's the world treating you?
NORM : Like a baby treats a diaper.


43. "Women. Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts."
                                  Norm Peterson