1. TEACHER: Why are you late? 
WEBSTER: Because of the sign. 
TEACHER: What sign? 
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."


2. TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication On the floor? 
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!


3. TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?" 
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" 
TEACHER: No, that's wrong 
JOHN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!


4. TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? 
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about? 
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!


5. TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. 
GEORGE: Here it is! 
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? 
CLASS: George!


6. TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years
ago.
WILLIE: Me!


7. TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


8. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I." 
ELLEN: I is... 
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am." 
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."


9. TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" 
JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."


10. TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also
admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."

11. TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? 
SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.


12. TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!


13. TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer
interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.