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Today's jokes [6.23.18]

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   Two lesbians were standing at a bar drinking when another girl waved
   from across the bar.
   "Who is that babe?" one said to the other. "I'd sure like to get her
   spread out on my
   sheets." "No you wouldn't," said the other. "She's hung like a
   doughnut."
   


1. 




A rather senile old lady went to her doctor complaining of
draining and a feeling of fullness in her ear. After the
examination, the doctor initiated a conversation that went
as follows:

D: Why madam, I think you have a suppository in your ear.
L: ?eh?
D: Madam - You have a SUPPOSITORY in your EAR!
L: ??EH??
D: (shouting) --IN YOUR EAR! -- A SUPPOSITORY!!!
L: Oh, thank Goodness - now I know where I put my hearing aid....


2. 




A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert
himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go 
home and show her you're the boss." 

The husband decided to take the doctor's advice. He went
home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and 
growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my 
supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs 
and lay out my clothes.  Tonight I am going out with the boys. 
You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another 
thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?"

"I certainly do," said his wife calmly, "the undertaker."

3. 




What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook ?

100 way to wok your dog.

4. 




What food best describes a man? 

     Jerky 

5. 



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