Jokes2Go Daily Humor

Today's Joke

2009--07T00:05:01Z

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for
something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting
under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing
away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the
man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of
the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

Today's Story

2009--07T00:05:01Z

There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at Tim Alley's
Grocery Store. The owner Tim doesn't know what Junior's
problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two
bricks shy of a load, or two pickles shy of a barrel. To prove it,
sometimes they offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a
dime.

He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger.
One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, Tim got him off to one
side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They
think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel.
Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"

Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"

Today's Poem

2009--07T00:05:01Z

There was a young fellow named Malcolm
Who dusted his ass-hole with talcum.
He'd always use it
Everytime that he shit,
And found the sensation quite welcome.

Today's Quote

2009--07T00:05:01Z

Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.