Jokes Archives @ Jokes2Go, Category: Children
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| 77 |
| Email Friend | | | Dirty Johnny's father walks into the bathroom and catches him jerking
off.
He says, "Son, every time you do that you kill an innocent baby."
The next day his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again.
Johnny says, "Bow your head, Pop. Can't you see we're having a
funeral?"
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| 78 |
| Email Friend | | |
In little Johnny's class at school, there's this kid with no arms or
legs called Philip. One day after school, Johnny goes round his house
and knocks on the door.
Philip's mother answers the door, and says, "Yes Johnny, what can I do
for you?"
"Can Philip come out? - we're all skipping in the park"
Philip's mum says, "But Johnny, you know he's got no arms or legs."
"Yeah, I know," says little Johnny, "I just want to see his stumps
bleed."
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| 79 |
| Email Friend | | |
In little Johnny's class at school, there's this kid with no arms or
legs called Philip. Johnny knocks at the door of Philip's house and
asks if Philip can come out to play soldiers.
"Johnny, you know full well that Philip hasn't got any arms or legs"
says his mother.
"Yeah, I know that," says Johnny - "I was going to use him as a
sandbag."
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| 80 |
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Little Johnny is excited because the circus has come to town and his
mum has got front row tickets for him. Finally the evening comes and
Little Johnny and his mum go off to the big top. Little Johnny sits
there and enjoys the lions and the tigers and the jugglers and the
trapeze artists, and finally out comes little Johnnys favourites, the
clowns.
Johnny is loving the clowns and their humorous japes until one of the
clowns comes up to him and says 'Little boy are you the front end of
an ass?'
'No,' replies little Johnny.
'Are you the rear end of an ass?'
'No,' replies little Johnny again.
'In that case,' says the clown, 'you must be no end of an ass.'
Little Johnny is distraught and he runs out of the circus and all the
way home in tears. When his mum catches up with him she says, 'Little
Johnny don't worry, your Uncle Marvo, the master of lightning wit,
backchat and repartee, is coming to stay tomorrow. We will take him to
the circus and he will sort that nasty clown out.' At this news little
Johnny cheers up and looks forward to the next night.
The next night comes and, sure enough, Uncle Marvo, the master of
lightning wit, backchat and repartee arrives and the three of them set
off for the circus. When they get there Little Johnny, his mum and
Uncle Marvo, the master of lightning wit, backchat and repartee, sit
down and enjoy the lions, the tigers, the jugglers and the trapeze
artists, and then out come the clowns.
Again Little Johnny is enjoying their antics and yet again one of the
clowns comes up to him and says, 'Little boy are you the front end of
an ass?'
Quick as a flash, Uncle Marvo, the master of lightning wit, backchat
and repartee jumps up and shouts at the very top of his voice:
'Fuck off you Red nosed Cunt!'
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