A little girl was walking along a beach in California when
she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspaper
covering his genitals.
The little girl said, "What do you have under that newspaper, Mister?"
The man said, "Nothing, it's just a bird, now go away!"
The man thought nothing of her and quickly fell asleep.
Hours later, the man woke up in a hospital bed in excrutiating pain.
"Where the hell am I?"
A doctor replied, "Someone called 9-1-1 and said you needed emergency
help, so we rushed you right over."
"Well, what the hell happened to me?"
"We don't know, son. Do you remember anything unusual happening
to you today?"
The man said, "Well, there was a little girl bugging me just
before I fell asleep." 
The doctor sent someone to the beach to see if the little girl was
still there, and she was. The person said, "Do you know what happened
to that nice man you saw here earlier?"
"Well," the little girl said, "I started to play with that nice little
bird that he had and the damn thing spit on me. So, I wrung its neck,
broke its eggs, and set its nest on fire!"