A MAN'S SCHEDULE
1. Get up.
2. Pass gas.
3. Drink cup of black coffee.
4. Pass gas.
5. Dress, skipping shower because "alarm didn't work".
6. Pass gas.
7. Log on to computer to check porn site before leaving for
work. Pass gas while "enjoying" favorite site.
6. Drive to work. Pass gas at stop light. Open window to air out
7. Get to work at MacDonalds. Pass gas in bathroom (for all
patrons to enjoy). Forget to wash hands.
8. Lunch. Double cheesy cheeseburger and supersized fries.
9. Arrive home. Pass gas. Have a beer. Pass gas.
10. Tell wife you want sex. Belch. Finish early, belch and fall
11. Get up at 3 A.M. waking wife but instead of finishing her
off, return to computer to talk in the chat rooms - imagining
what a stud you are, chatting with all those "gorgeous women"
online. Pass gas.