If government is going to put health warning labels on
   beer, wine and liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness about
   the matter! 
   WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath
   that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.
   WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an
   idiot.
   WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring
   story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head
   in.
   WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what
   you REALLY THINK while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas
   party.
   WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
   ever happened to your pants (panties) anyway. WARNING: Consumption of
   alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something
   really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).
   WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
   tougher, handsomer, and smarter than some really, really huge biker
   guy named "Big Al".