A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant
   for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him
   think you are a pauper." Then he asked his lawyer the same question,
   but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear
   your most elegant suit and tie." Confused, the man went to his rabbi,
   told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of
   the dilemma. "Let me tell you a story," replied the rabbi. "A woman,
   about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding
   night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to
   your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting
   advice. 'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V-neck right down to
   your navel. The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my
   problem with the IRS?" "No matter what you wear, you are going to get
   screwed."