The Speed of Time by Age



 0-9  Extremely slow. Even a trip to the store with Mom seems like going
      to Albania - by covered wagon. Most common phrase: "Is it
      Christmas yet?"

10-19 Still slow. Scientific evidence seems to show that school clocks
      actually move backwards just before the bell rings.

20-29 Alternately fast and slow. Weekends seem shorter and shorter, yet
      paychecks seem further and further apart.

30-39 Time achieves warp speed, except when put on hold on the telephone
      and forced to endure anything longer than 5 seconds of Muzak. Most
      common phrase: "Is it Christmas already?"

40-49 Still fast. Seems like just yesterday when Jerry Brown said he
      might run for President. Wait a minute! It WAS yesterday when he
      said that. Also, Dick Clark still looks the same. Could time be
      slowing down?

60-69 Hey! What happened to 50-59?

70 +  Unbelievably fast. Wars used to last years. Now it seems like
      they're over in a couple weeks.