A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert
himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go 
home and show her you're the boss." 

The husband decided to take the doctor's advice. He went
home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and 
growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my 
supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs 
and lay out my clothes.  Tonight I am going out with the boys. 
You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another 
thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?"

"I certainly do," said his wife calmly, "the undertaker."