A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends
 $5,000 and  feels really great about the result. On his way home
 he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to
 the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you
 think I am?"  "About 35," was the reply.

 "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.

 After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order
 taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29".

 "I am actually 47!" This makes him feel really good.

 While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same
 question.  She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is
 going. But when I  was young there was a sure way of telling a
 mans age. If I put my hand down your pants for ten minutes
 I will be able to tell your exact age."

 As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let
 her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady
 says,  "OK, it's done. You are 47."

 Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"

 The old lady replies, "I was in line behind you at McDonalds."