I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who, this morning,
called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around. We lost track of
time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and
rekindling a little of that "old magic". 

"I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older
and a bit greyer and balder than when..... you last saw me. Plus I don't
really have the energy I used to have."

She just giggled and said she was sure I would rise to the challenge".

"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few
inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...
everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing
jowls like a Great Dane!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.

She teased me saying that tubby, grey haired, older men were cute, and she
was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to fuck off.