I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, the other is  a
mistress, and of course I have been married for 20+ years.
 
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our partners
by wearing a black leather bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We
agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went.
 
My engaged friend: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me
with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said,
'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you' and we made  love all night long.
 
The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I 
was wearing the leather bodice and heels under a raincoat and the mask over
my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild
sex all night.

Then I shared my story: When my husband came home I was wearing the 
leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon
as he came in the door and saw me he said,
 
'What's for dinner, Batman?"