A profoundly ugly girl went to the psychiatrist.
"My life is a mess, doctor," she began, "I am so
fucking hideous that no one will associate with
me, touch me, or even talk to me. Can you help?"
"Why, certainly! Helping people feel much better
about themselves is my area of expertise. I can
start making you feel more confident about your
appearance right here and now."
"Oh, I am so grateful! What should I do first?"
"First things first. Just walk over to the other
side of the room and lie face down on my couch."