Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that 
you've been telling people that I'm ugly!" "Oh NO! I've just been saying 
that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that
you've been calling me fat?!?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear 
those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I've also heard 
that you're saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only 
said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"