A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her to hear a confession: 
"Today I enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh. Father Goodwim came to me and 
told me that I had the gates to Heaven here between my legs. Then he said
that he had the key to Heaven, and he put it in the gates."
"BASTARD!" cried the Mother Superior. "For years he told me it was 
Gabriel's trumpet and I have been blowing it."