A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something
about his girlfriend being out in the car.
The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. 
When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk's buddy, Pete, and his 
girlfriend going at it in the back-seat. The bartender shook his head and 
walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good 
idea to check on his girlfriend.
The drunk staggered outside to the car, saw Pete and his girlfriend
entwined, then walked back into the bar laughing. "What's so funny?" the
bartender asked.
"That damned Pete!" the drunk chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's 
me!"