A man was leaving church one day. The Pastor was standing at the door (as 
he always is) to shake hands with members of the congregation. He grasped 
the man by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him,
"You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
The man replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and 
Easter?"
He whispered back, "Shhhhhhhhh. I'm in the secret service."