There were these three morticians talking about their greatest feats. 
The first one says, "I had this soldier who stepped on a land mine. 
Took me three days to get him ready for an open casket funeral!!" 
The next guy says, "oh yeah? I had this construction worker fall 
15 stories, then he got run over by a steam roller, but I had him 
ready for an open casket funeral in two days!!!" The third guy sulks 
in the corner, "man. both y'all got me beat. I had this lady parachutist 
who landed on the empire state building. it took me four days just to get 
the grin off her face."