Tommy, Johnny and Harry were standing around bullshitting about how
   tough their fathers were.
   
   "My dad went 12 rounds with Mike Tyson. Lick that!" said young Harry.
   
   "Well, my dad did two tours of Vietnam and killed 19 men... so lick
   that!" Tommy said.
   
   "That's nothing!" declared little Johnny. "My dad hasn't wiped his ass
   in 10 years... so lick that!"