In little Johnny's class at school, there's this kid with no arms or
   legs called Philip. Johnny knocks at the door of Philip's house and
   asks if Philip can come out to play soldiers.
   
   "Johnny, you know full well that Philip hasn't got any arms or legs"
   says his mother.
   
   "Yeah, I know that," says Johnny - "I was going to use him as a
   sandbag."