Clinton died and was standing at hte Pearly Gates.  After 
knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. "Who goes 
there?" inquired St. Peter.

"'It's me, Bill Clinton." 

"And what do you want?" asked St. Peter. 

"Lemme in!" replied Clinton.

"Soooo," pondered Peter. "What bad things did you do on 
earth?"

Clinton thought a bit and answered, "Well, I smoked marijuana 
but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale. I 
guess I had extra-marital sex -- but you shouldn't hold that 
against me because I didn't really have 'sexual relations.' And I 
lied, but I didn't commit perjury."

After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, "OK, 
here's the deal.  We'll send you someplace where it is very hot, 
but we won't call it 'Hell.' You'll be there for an indefinite period 
of time, but we won't call it 'eternity.' And don't abandon all 
hope' upon entering, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to 
freeze over."